In our life, A moment come where we want to forget the past and want to start life over. But our mind which is habitual to overthink that past event, No matter if that was an end of relationship or lost of someone.
If you are here then you understand tough situations like this. Where only hope is the light which is showing path in this darkness
This article is here to help you, No matter at which stage or what circumstances you are in your life, You can start your life over and give yourself a new life
If you want to start your life over then of course your past went horrible. And you want to forget that. But solution exist in that problem.
We are humans our character, mindset made of memories and experiences, If you are in denial with your past then you can not move ahead in your life because you will always be giving logic to your brain to be in denial,
For example if you did something bad in the past and you can’t accept it is bad (even it is bad) then you will always give logic to persuade your mind to accept that lie you are keep telling yourself.
It can make you overthinker.
So the important factor to move on and starting your life over is forgetting the past.
For that you can take some steps to ease this process
1. Take a Break-
When you stuck in your life and don’t know where to go or what to do, then you must stop yourself, shut down the negative thoughts, take alone time and reflect what is it that stopping you from moving forward? Which situation caused you this moment?
You can ask these questions To reflect yourself-
- What is it holding me back?
- How to get rid of it?
- What are my biggest strengths?
- What are my biggest weaknesses?
- Is there any Positive thing about my circumstances?
- How to turn that into success story?
2. Learn to Let It Go-
The main reason behind not moving ahead in life and stuck at one place is Denial. When you can’t accept who you are and what you exactly want.
But when you ask yourself above questions and seek answers to them then it will give you the reasons to accept yourself.
And here your transformation begins.
When you will know what holding you back, Then give some facts to yourself-
- You can’t change the past.
- You were naive to understand that situation and it won’t happen again.
- Tell yourself, letting it go that memory of humiliation. Because no matter how you simulate in better manner in your brain you can’t change it.
3. Remove past things and negative people-
If you are nostalgic towards the things which leads you to the bad memories, then you have to remove those things from your life that are not resonated.
Remove the thing which reminds you about bad memories you want to overcome from.
Same applies with peoples, If some peoples are negative around you, no matter how better you do they criticize you or bully you. Then remove them from your life. Because you can’t fight them when you are continuously fighting with yourself to change and move on. & they won’t let you change, No matter how good you try.
To know if you are surrounded with people who are negative for your life ask these three questions-
- Is a person supporting you in good manner(not a sycophant)?
- Is that person reminds you past bad memory you are fighting with?
- That person keep demotivating and criticize you no matter how better you try?
4. Don’t care what others say-
Do you know, We humans are habitual to listen to others and customize ourselves? It is good when this happens in constructive way but when we listen others criticism or jealous words and depress because they said things like that about you. Even they don’t matter in your life.
This habit is too narrow and bad. You shouldn’t care about what others say or do. You can get motivated by others work but don’t let them get inside your head.
To process properly what others says you must-
- Think what others said, process in your brain and if it is profitable in your life then apply it and if it is not then remove that thought from your brain.
5. Remove the rules & commitments, which limits you-
We humans love to make rules to make discipline. And in the field of someone’s principles and ethics they make rules for themselves. We make these rules subconsciously, Sometimes We don’t even know when we make them. They are good enough if they make you flourish but sometimes that rules of our, make us stereotype. And blocks us to do work we want to do.
For example – If you make rules, that drinking is bad.
Now you won’t drink wine and can’t experience (even if you want to) what that thing has to offer.
That rules making is bad for you so remove the unnecessary rules in your life and you will break a chain to move on.
To identify unnecessary rules in your life-
- You should notice the thought which stopping you from things you want to do and you think what you’re going to do is good for your future. For Example- you want to color your hairs, But your mind resisted because in the past you saw some goons who colored their heir like that.
6. Forgive or Forget-
Sometimes people make you angry or unhappy and you took the grudge for a long time. This is obvious but, you know this grudge keep holding you back, yes! When you hold a grudge about something or someone then you keep thinking and keep reminding yourself about that & waste your time.
This thing has solution by forgiving or forgetting about that moment or person you are holding grudge against
Try to forgive people in your mind even you can’t apply in real life and this will allow your brain and this will allow your brain to forget that bad memory of that person and you can move on.
7. Remove Excuses-
Excuses can also hold you back. So overcome from them don’t be an excuse. Tackle problems don’t be a complainer. Complains only make things worse. When you complain about things then you are just doing because you are lazy to make a decision which remove your comfort zone
Stand up and say yourself that excuses not going to solve the problems your action does.
“It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.” — George Washington
“Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses.” ―George Washington Carver
Prepare for Life you Want
As you build proper base, by forgetting your bad past, you are ready for the next step and that is to prepare for life you want
Yes! Think about things you want to achieve in your life. Who is that man or woman you want to be like in your future? What are the details of that person?
In this process you will prepare and ready your brain and yourself for the future yourself.
To do so you can take some mini steps –
1. See & Feel the life you want to have in the future-
When an engineer makes a bridge or home, He has blueprint and vision how that bridge or home going to look like when it will complete.
Same applies with us. If you want to be something and want to achieve something, then you must have a vision how that success or change will look like. What would you do then? How happy you will be? Till when it can achieved?
After having that success vision, feel that moment every day for 5 minutes like that is happening right now.
This will help you to make the skeleton of your results you want with starting over in life.
- Write it down your desired future and take a gander daily.
2. Meditation & Trust
You might notice, Every person who is successful (self-made) in their life has belief and spiritual. Do you know why? Because they are believer, No matter if that belief is on God or on themselves but that is there.
The key to be focused & have faith is meditation.
- Do meditation daily (at least 5 min)
- Believe in yourself
- Trust the process, (whatever process you are following)
3. Fool your mind by Creating a Virtual Environment-
Our brain is a powerful tool but if we can’t control it then it can lead you to annihilation of your life.
And if you want to start your life over then you already fooled by your mind and that is causing you many problems.
So if you are starting over then just fool your mind before it will fool you and make a virtual environment of positivity even you don’t feel so.
To do so –
- Keep telling yourself everything is fine.
- Repeat yourself what you Before written down in the first step.
- Brag about things you achieved.
4. Set Goals-
Setting the goals according to your circumstances is important. They must be SMART.
SMART goals are:
- Specific: Well defined, clear, and unambiguous
- Measurable: With specific criteria that measure your progress toward the accomplishment of the goal
- Achievable: Attainable and not impossible to achieve
- Realistic: Within reach, realistic, and relevant to your life purpose.
- Timely: With a clearly defined timeline, including a starting date and a target date. The purpose is to create urgency.
Smart goals are base but on that base your goals must have pillars of long term and short term goals
Short Term goals-
These goals are more visible and more actionable in day today life. What do you want and how you want to change in upcoming, one month or 3 months? Also take your long term goal as reference & Setting short term goals with SMART criteria in mind, That will help you to create a proper and precise short term goals, like
- I will go to the gym 4 days per week. Or
- I will study 4 hours per day
These goals include
- Personal growth
- Social life
Long Term goals-
They are not that visible and actionable because they are structure, and structures always build up by small bricks.
Long term goals can take as reference while creating short term goals.
Some examples of long term goals –
I want to
- Get rid of my past and move on in upcoming one year or
- Achieve reputation and happiness in my life within 3 years.
- Be millionaire within 5 years?
All work will mean nothing to you if you will not take any action
Tony Robins says-
“Knowledge is not Power. Knowledge is only potential power. Action is real POWER”
So if you forget all past and prepared for new life then you did only 40% of work. & to achieve what you really want, that is to live your dream life, then – YOU HAVE TO TAKE ACTIONS.
1. It’s never easy-
If you think, moving on and starting a new life is too easy and piece of cake, You can do it easily. Then let me burst your bubble here.
It is not that easy my friend, You will start with full motivation and stoked up but in the middle of somewhere you will think about giving up. That moment will come again and again, You want to run, You want to cry, Your mind will stick in duality, You won’t know, what is right for you.
But you have to keep going.
These feeling are just Inertia of your past life. They don’t want to change you. Because what it does.
SO be strong at those moments and remember, You are doing great. Your purpose is good and you will achieve there no matter what.
2. Stay Motivated-
You will always be growing, Even when you are at rock bottom, there are always ways to grow stronger, better person.
But to stay strong, Your motivation level must be higher that make you trust yourself.
Motivation is the backbone of your any action. & in this case, You must have a proper motivation, which move you forward, Because you are going through a dark tunnel and motivation is your only torch which keeps you going.
To stay motivated you can take some steps-
- Don’t listen what people have to say about you.
- Don’t always judge yourself.
- Praise yourself at the end of the day for your good works.
- Trust the process.
3. Daily actions-
The best way to make sure you reach your goals is to find one small thing you can do every single day to work toward them.
If you want to save money, figure out how much you’ll have to put aside every day. Want to lose weight? Aim for 10 squats per day. If you want to learn a musical instrument, plan to play for 15 minutes every day.
These action items are so simple they’re almost impossible not to do. That’s what you should focus on with daily actions.
Daily actions will be quick reminders to always keep reaching for your goals. Even on a rough day, your daily actions will remind you why you’re working hard to start your life over.
4. Don’t be an announcer-
Some people have a problem that they always announce before working and mostly they fail. Do You know why?
Because when they announce something they are going to do, then people start reacting, Some will praise you, But some may criticize you. & our brain take criticism seriously, this criticism demotivates them, and they think they don’t have potential to do that work.
You shouldn’t listen to these people
Because your life is YOUR life. Move on and people will grow with you. Those that don’t perhaps aren’t meant to be in your life in the first place.
So Don’t announce, what you are going to do.
5. Prepare for rough moments-
Let me tell you a secret, When I was going through this process, & I couldn’t handle a situation then I think and research about that and got prepared for that moment, So that If that happens again I would be prepared for that moment.
No matter how small or big that moment is. Maybe that is a situation friends mocking you again and again for something or talking to an authority, Prepare for it.
This preparation will give you confidence and you need this urgently.
To prepare for the rough moments-
- Think at the end of the day, which moments make you unhappy.
- Ask yourself for solution.
- Then research on internet for solution.
- Pick your best solution and apply it next time.
6. Trust the Process-
I am not saying that, only my process is there which works to move on, there are other process too.
But this process I used and it works. So no matter which process you choose, which path you choose, have faith in it, TRUST THE PROCESS.
Because faith and trust are intakes of your subconscious, which make your new life.
- Have a Mentor and have faith on him.
- Have faith no matter what path you choose.