16 Facts About Self Esteem That You Didn’t Learn in School

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facts about self esteem

Self Esteem is the backbone of our attitude. Without or low self-esteem you are a person, who don’t know what is his potential.
Self-esteem is your evaluation about yourself. This is the psychology which builds or demolish our faith, decision-making, confidence and base of the person we are or will become.
So knowing about self-esteem and facts about self-esteem is important. But before that we must know what self-esteem is and why is it so important for everyone

So What is Self esteem Exactly?

According to one psychology report

Self-esteem is a widely used concept both in popular language and in psychology. It refers to an individual’s sense of his or her value or worth. Or the extent to which a person values, approves of, appreciates, prizes, or likes him or herself (Blascovich & Tomaka, 1991). The broadest and frequently cited definition of self-esteem within psychology is Rosenberg’s (1965). Who described it as a ‘favorable or unfavorable’ attitude toward the self.

But you have seen many people. Some of them are confident, have charm in their faces, positivity, and they don’t accept in hetero suggestion. But also some people who don’t know what they are doing, dull, and easily accepts what others say about them.

So why this happens?

This happens due to your self-esteem. As confident and strong your self-esteem is, Same way you will be. Either the confident man or someone who don’t have their own thoughts.

But it is not entirely up to us specially in the beginning of our life. At that time we don’t know what to do and what is right. Then we can’t filtrate things on our own. But after maturity, you are still facing low self-esteem issues. Then you are not trying and your circumstances are not reliable.

Although you can change and stop overthinking about the past, But you have to know how self-esteem develops, What are-

The factors which affects our Self Esteem

According to ASSC Transformative Education report our self esteem based on mainly three factors-


This factor is defined by one’s sense of internal causality and orientation toward personal responsibility. The more internal our LOC. The more we feel like our destiny is in our own hands. This could be contrasted to seeing life as a series of accidents or things that happen to us.

It comes from: recognizing that our actions result in consequences, seeing cause and effect relationships related to success and failure, being given power and control with an expectation of using them responsibly.

Overall this means we must have capability to take responsibilities. But some things are not in our control to take responsibility. & if we keep find responsible and accusing ourselves for something we can’t control then we will start self deprecation which is harmful for our self-esteem.


This factor reflects, how much one feels wanted and a part of the group, and how much one likes and accepts themselves as they are. The more one feels accepted and acceptable, the more they are able to express themselves, act authentically and be fully present to others. Self- acceptance could be contrasted to self-aggrandizement or a compulsion to please.

It comes from: accepting messages from VIPs (including self-talk), practicing a positive approach and attitude, experiencing emotional safety, and the ability to separate our performance from who we are.


This factor relates to one’s self-efficacy or how good at things one thinks they are. Our unconscious is getting continuous data related to our relative level of competence. If we interpret our experience as progress and/or success we become more confident and more inclined to take risks in the future. Success breeds success. This sense of competence could be contrasted to a defeatist attitude or the need to brag/show off.

It comes from: achievement, taking risks that pay off, having special talents, recognition of those talents from others, and others constructive feedback.

But overall we must know why we need self-esteem, Some people think self-esteem is gifted, No that is not, It is all depends on your circumstances, And these three magical questions and their answers

  • What your same-sex parent did?
  • What your peer group is up to?
  • Which kind of love you received in childhood?

If all the answers are in positive means-

  • If you achieved more than your same-sex parent.
  • You achieved more than your friends and peer group
  • positive love and feedback in childhood by your parents

Then you are filled with self-esteem but if the reverse happens then you will lose your self-esteem, although can be regained after self consciousness.
Our subconscious knows everything but can’t define it to us, as we don’t even ask that kind of questions, Because we don’t even know about these facts.

Some interesting psychological facts about self-esteem

1 to 5

  • Adolescent boys with high self-esteem are almost two and a half times more likely to initiate sex than boys with low self-esteem. And while girls with high self-esteem are three times more likely to delay sex than girls with low self-esteem. (Spencer, Zimet, Aalsma, & Orr, 2002).

  • Robert Herbert from Binghamton University proved. That people accept compliments “smoothly” and give thanks for them only in 30% of the time. And in the case of a man receiving a compliment from another man, It will likely be perceived as something pleasant and increase his self-esteem.
  • Misetich & Delis-Abrams, proved in their 2003 report that, Low self-esteem is linked to violence, school dropout rates, teenage pregnancy, suicide, and low academic achievement

  • About 44% of girls and 15% of boys in high school are attempting to lose weight. (Council on Alcoholism and Drug Abuse, n.d.).

  • The average man lies to his colleagues, boss, or partner 6 times a day while women only do it about 3 times a day. A survey carried out by 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment in 2009 before the release of the TV series Lie to Me helped to discover this fact.
    And It turned out that men lie twice as often as women, and the most common lying phrase is “It’s OK. I’m fine.”

6 to 10-

  • Seven in 10 girls believe that they are not good enough or don’t measure up in some way (Dove Self-Esteem Fund, 2008).

  • A girl’s self-esteem is more strongly related to how she views her own body shape and body weight than how much she actually weighs (Dove Self-Esteem Fund, 2008).

  • Nearly all women (90%) want to change at least one aspect of their physical appearance (Confidence Coalition, n.d.).
  • About one in four college-age women have an eating disorder (Confidence Coalition, n.d.).

  • Only 2% of women think they are beautiful (Confidence Coalition, n.d.).

11 to 16-

  • Absent fathers, poverty, and a low-quality home environment have a negative impact on self-esteem (Orth, 2018).

  • Too high self-esteem is linked to criminality

  • Among high school students, 44% of girls and 15% of guys are attempting to lose weight. (Council On Alcoholism And Drug Abuse)
  • More than 40% of boys in middle school and high school regularly exercise with the goal of increasing muscle mass (The New York Times)

  • 38% of boys in middle school and high school reported using protein supplements and nearly 6% admitted to experimenting with steroids.(The New York Times)

  • 7 in 10 girls believe that they are not good enough or don’t measure up in some way, including their looks, performance in school and relationships with friends and family members. (

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